So far even my happiest days were filled with an empty void. I was an alcoholic and a drug addict. I would experiment with every kind of drug I ran across. A couple times I tried injecting heroin. Fortunately for me, I wanted to be active and energetic so I could play pool. Heroin , on the other hand, was so powerful it knocked all the energy out of me. I’m very thankful, that I did not become dependent on this drug. A number of my friends were completely controlled by that “ecstatic” feeling and they were always in need of another “fix”. I liked getting high on marijuana because I could work and be high. I also liked drugs like cocaine and speed. After work was done I would always retire to a bar where the pool tables were aways busy and usually there were more drugs available in that type of atmosphere. I stayed high on something all day long. I was like a functioning zombie. Believe it or not, every day I tried to quit and never could. I usually smoked a joint every morning and would take a couple more hits, as needed, throughout the day. Sometimes I would not smoke any cigarettes until after work. Then I would go into a bar, order a Budweiser and go to the cigarette machine to get a pack of smokes. After I had everything I needed, I would get a game of pool started as soon as I could and play until two or three in the morning. For years, I was always drunk when I drove home. I had three DUIs over a span of fifteen years. I also hated a god I didn’t believe in and mocked Christians every chance I got.
Everything changed when I married a bartender because she was pregnant. She stopped drinking because of her pregnancy and I also stopped so she wouldn’t be tempted to sneak a drink in there. After my son was born we went back to drinking and staying out late every night. She had another son who was twelve years old and he pretty much raised our baby for the first couple years of his life. I had one previous son that I lost communication with when I moved out west. I loved him but I walked out on him and his mom. My new marriage didn’t last too long, but I made the commitment to my little son that I would always be there for him. I was actually experiencing joy when I was with him. I still maintained all the other problems that I had. I picked up my son every weekend and we went to the park and played and I really loved our time together.
When my son Tommy was three years old, I went through a radical change. A miracle happened and the elusive unapproachable road became available to me. It wasn’t my doing. I didn’t want this at all until God convinced me this was something I needed more than anything else in my despicable life. From then on, I started becoming a better person. I was miraculously delivered from drugs and cigarettes. My foul mouth also went away. It wasn’t my doing at all. The glory for this must go to God. A year later another miracle occurred that released me from alcohol. I became more productive. My book gives a step by step account of my miraculous transformation. I am so grateful to God for everything. By the way, I still love the game of pool, but it is no longer my god.
